The prices:
• Superior Room – 42 sqm. (single occupancy): THB 66,500 net
• Deluxe Room – 42 sqm. (single occupancy): THB 72,500 net
• Executive Suite – 74 sqm. (single occupancy): THB 81,500 net
• Wellness Suite – 74 sqm. (single occupancy): THB 90,500 net
• Wellness Sleep Suite- 74 sqm. (single occupancy): THB 97,500 net
• Presidential Suite or Royal Suite – 164 sqm. (single occupancy): THB 222,500 net

Note: Prices are valid from 6th May – 31st August 2021. Additional charges are applicable for double occupancy or families who wish to stay together.

What’s included in the stay?
The ASQ package at Mövenpick BDMS Wellness Resort Bangkok is a full board package and features the following perks:
• Three meals per day in your chosen room type (choice of menu items).
• Three Covid-19 (SARS-COV-2 RT-PCR) tests.
• The transportation from Suvarnabhumi or Don Mueang Airport to the hotel.
• Private balcony with city or garden views.
• 20% off room service & special rates for laundry package.
• LED TV with 75 domestic & international channels.
• Wellness amenities in every room.
• Highspeed wifi & free access to PressReader application with over 7,000 newspapers & magazines.
• Complementary Health Watch Club Card with special vouchers and benefits.
• Exclusive health check-up discounts after check-out at BDMS Wellness Clinic.
Medical care provided by Bangkok Hospital includes:
• Daily health monitoring & twice daily temperature check with 24-hours nurse supervision
• Three Covid-19 (SARS-COV-2 RT-PCR) tests administered at the hotel.
• Supplements to boost the immune system (Cordyceps Mix C by Royal Life Anti-Aging Center, Mushroom Extract by Royal Life Anti-Aging Center)
• Complimentary preventative health telemedicine consultation.

Additional services to enhance your stay include fitness equipment rental, capsule coffee machine and microwave rental and online personal training sessions. We have partnered with Siam Paragon to offer the “ASQ Chat & Shop” experience via LINE or Wechat. External food delivery is also allowed (exceptions regarding certain foods applies).

Terms & conditions:
This Alternative State Quarantine (ASQ) hotel package is subject to government established regulations for the health observation for all arrivals to the Kingdom of Thailand, inclusive the seclusion in the room during the entire stay. All prices & information subject to change without prior notice.

Contact us for more information:
Email: [email protected]
Website: https://www.movenpickbdmsbangkok.com/asq-hotel-bangkok/
Tel.: +66 (0)2 666 3333

Address:
2 Wireless Road, Lumpini, Patumwan, 10330 Bangkok, Thailand https://www.google.com/maps/embed?pb=!1m18!1m12!1m3!1d3875.518155149349!2d100.54504231476417!3d13.74759699035021!2m3!1f0!2f0!3f0!3m2!1i1024!2i768!4f13.1!3m3!1m2!1s0x30e29fd76dfff447%3A0x34783106c19355b2!2sM%C3%B6venpick%20BDMS%20Wellness%20Resort%20Bangkok!5e0!3m2!1sen!2sth!4v1620271909842!5m2!1sen!2sth

The post ASQ Packages – Stay in a Garden Oasis at Mövenpick BDMS Wellness Resort Bangkok appeared first on Inspire Bangkok e-Magazine Events.

There are very few tourists in the country and for one to be murdered – and possibly even raped – in a country desperate for the return of the tourist dollar is simply horrendous.

Thailand is already reeling from easily the biggest surge of Covid-19 cases and deaths since the pandemic began. While visitor numbers in the Sandbox were low at least it was a start offering a ray of hope.

Now potential tourists, already freaked and cancelling due to the Covid numbers coming out of Thailand are seeing “murder of tourist” on international news front pages.

If they haven’t decided yet about the wisdom of a trip to Thailand, that may be a tipping point.

Worrying were statements on many stories that the police were looking at not just criminals but migrants. With the wounds of Koh Tao and the incarceration of the Burmese unhealed, this smacks of Captain Renault in Casablanca and his line “round up the usual suspects”.

As in the movie, this can be seen as getting their hands on anyone for the sake of it. Maintaining face but caring little about justice.

Following the tragic discovery of the body of Nicole Sauvain-Weisskopf, 57, on Thursday the cavalry arrived the next day in the shape of RTP chief Gen Suwat Chaengyodsuk.

This is the bespectacled Commissioner-General’s first major test after he replaced Gen Chakthip Chaijinda last September. He was accompanied on the flight by the cream of Thailand’s forensics investigators.

Several things are against them. Crimes committed by strangers are notoriously hard to solve and this looks like a stranger. The area of the waterfall will have little CCTV, devices that usually come to the rescue of the Thai police. Can a DNA profile be extracted from the victim and will that be on record?

In favor of the investigators is the propensity of Thai (well all) criminals to do something stupid. And the fact that Phuket is largely sealed off from the outside world.

While many are almost gloating online at the discomfiture of the Thai authorities and people, Rooster would like to wish investigators all the best and urge them to complete a thorough and transparent case.

The family of the deceased deserve this. And the country demands it.

Contrary to many claims that the Thai police are bungling and haphazard, when they put their minds to it they often resolve cases well and quickly.

Here it is a priority, less for the sake of tourism and more for sheer humanity.

An innocent woman, a guest in your home has lost her life, now find the culprit without delay.

Thai PM Prayut – our master who remains in khaki, hollow be thy name – barked his usual orders for a quick arrest like the general he really is.

Big Too had a very bad week. The numbers of infections flew past 20,000 daily and 200 deaths. The best he and his cronies could do was pluck some figures from the ether for vaccines in the coming weeks and months. They have been doing that since February.

Interestingly, there are now few forum comments about the numbers being falsified. The curmudgeons seem almost satisfied with 20K going on 30K.

Yet, in my opinion, while the numbers could probably be trusted last year, this time they are highly misleading. With reasonably cheap test kits available many thousands more are likely infected and resorting to home isolation, something that was introduced like the slow vaccine rollout far too late.

Mor Lab Panda called this an embarrassment in his online comments saying that follow-ups were not being done and people were being left to die.

Along with millions of others, this columnist and his family remain in lockdown and only go out for food and essentials. I don’t expect much change for months and the children will not be back in school until near the end of the year at the earliest.

My eight year old daughter faced the ubiquitous “tests” this week with Rooster insisting that she do them with minimal help, and Mrs R determined to ensure the best results possible. I gave in a little…..the angst created by online learning with small children has been one of the most difficult things to cope with in all my time in Thailand, despite 30 years in education.

I was, however, pleasantly amused by a trip to Home Pro to get a new washing machine. They were all behind protective tape like at a crime scene and I feared Mrs R would have to continue doing things by hand.

No, the lady staffer assured me, I could actually buy one! Just not touch it!

Prayut’s week looked really grim on Friday. A day earlier Tweedledumb’s sidekick Tweedledee, Prawit, had ordered everyone to get tough on fake news and intimated that provincial “fake news” centers could be set up to handle the backlog.

He should have checked his watch. Within hours the Civil Court issued an injunction to stop the PM’s gagging of freedom of speech and internet censorship order announced in the Government Gazette deeming it to be illegal.

Prayut massively overstepped the mark. Yes, false claims about herbal remedies for Covid and damaging anti-vax statements need to be prosecuted. But he was caught out trying to restrict legitimate news stories and criticism of his government and now looks like what Brits call a right muppet.

Kind of a Kermit in Khaki who’d have no chance with Miss Piggy.

Step in Capt Thammanat Prompao, the convicted heroin smuggler. The best the new head of the Palang Pracharat party could do was burble fake news when a media outlet suggested he was eying the top job at Government House.

Chuwit Kamolvisit – playboy night club owner, politician, outspoken presenter and himself a convicted felon – went on Facebook to say that Thammanat was a quick learner in politics and a shrewd operator.

In true Chuwit style he said these were just the qualities needed to be a gangster or a politician!

(Foreigners in Bangkok around in the noughties will remember his finger-jabbing election posters claiming that if chosen he will name and shame).

Whether Thammanat, the Agricultural and Cooperatives minister, could really make a bid to be PM remains to be seen. Given the rise of some world leaders in recent years Rooster would not be in the least surprised if he succeeded.

Anutin the health minister went to Thanyaburi Hospital and spouted such nonsense that ASEAN NOW needed to put a fact check on what came out of his mouth.

If he was being economical with the truth this was the biggest sale since the billions in the rice pledging scandal.

According to the DPM, Thailand was well on the way to 70% vaccinations and the provinces were overflowing with great vaccines thanks to him.

No, only just over 20% have got a first dose and double vaxxed folk are mostly doctors who are getting the virus in their hundreds. Now actually over a thousand after cases in Samut Sakhon.

Reports of the unavailability of vaccines outside Bangkok are everywhere, whether it is for Thais (lacking and in short supply) or foreigners (virtually non-existent).

Whether to get involved or not when seeing a crime being committed in Thailand was in the news this week. A Scottish man in Chachoengsao was taken to hospital after being stabbed in the arm by a Thai stealing from a gasoline machine.

The Scot recognised a car and whipped out his phone.

There are times when it is possible to be a Good Samaritan in Thailand but this was not one of them.

Believe me, I’d love to get out on the streets for some of the protests, both as a legitimate journalist and a concerned resident who loves Thailand.

Forget it – I’m staying home and will continue with my four decade policy of letting them get on with it…..and perhaps writing in support behind a pseudonym.

Newbies to Thailand get involved, older hands don’t, not least of all because we stick out like sore thumbs.

This week featured my once a year trip to see my lovely doctor, delayed since April but unable to be put off any longer.

From behind his shield and PPE, Dr D regaled me with his criticism of his country’s vaccine rollout saying that he wanted to forego a third jab and give it to a more deserving foreigner, like Rooster….who he described as a “model patient”!

We almost high-fived until we remembered protocols.

I’ve never seen him so animated as he swore about being unable to attend his son’s PhD ceremony in Japan. We never had time to discuss the chances of his beloved Manchester City winning the EPL again or indeed, my beloved Harry Kane joining them in that quest!

I’m more than able to interpret my blood test results myself, but the 725 baht bill for seeing Dr D is always money well spent!

A jobs’ site suggested that the unemployment rate was the highest in five years at 1.96%. And the rest – the country looks like it is on enforced holiday at the moment.

Much merriment greeted the news that certain sunscreens are being banned in marine parks, a story that made the BBC. The other usual suspects – Thai bashers and people who claim Thais are xenophobic – were out in force saying that foreigners were now being left to get skin cancer. Give it a rest.

I thought that the ban seemed eminently sensible given the evidence and one had already started in Hawaii. The Thais might need to ask the Americans how it can be enforced, however.

In other pandemic news down Pattaya way, the authorities in Koh Larn said visitors would need two jabs as well as their passport or Thai ID card to enter.

In Krabi there were dozens of checkpoints even on the smallest interprovincial roads as officials denied there was a 500 baht entrance fee.

No, someone had set up a 500 baht antigen test kit facility further down the road so that people would not need to go home!

You have to admire the Thai entrepreneurial spirit at times.

Though it could be made clear how these kits are going for 40 baht a time in the UK.

In Chiang Mai a British man reckoned he was some kind of Robin Hood after he imported cocaine through his solar cell business and distributed a million baht to kids and Covid poor.

It wasn’t mentioned how much he had kept for himself.

Along with his Maid Marion – Siriporn the DJ – he’ll face the Sheriff of Nottingham and find out he’ll see the light of day in about 2040, despite his largesse and half off for admission.

And not to mention that Little John in clink awaits.

Also in Chiang Mai the Chang Pheuak police arrested a bank robber within two hours after he got away with 20,000 baht from an SCB branch.

He’d filled in a deposit slip with “This is a robbery and I have a gun”. Unlike at waterfalls, plod had CCTV everywhere and found him at home with some of the loot.

His name turned out to be Kasikorn – maybe he should have tried another bank!

Finally, INN’s spineless report about Anutin’s hospital visit at least contained the best typo of the week.

They said the health minister arrived with “Shinovac”.

Raising the possibility that Thaksin Shinawatra might be donating vaccines and making a comeback.

He could hardly do any worse.

Rooster

The post The week that was in Thailand news: Round up the usual suspects – “Sandbox” murder couldn’t have come at a worse time appeared first on Inspire Bangkok e-Magazine Events.

The prices:
• Superior Room – 42 sqm. (single occupancy): THB 66,500 net
• Deluxe Room – 42 sqm. (single occupancy): THB 72,500 net
• Executive Suite – 74 sqm. (single occupancy): THB 81,500 net
• Wellness Suite – 74 sqm. (single occupancy): THB 90,500 net
• Wellness Sleep Suite- 74 sqm. (single occupancy): THB 97,500 net
• Presidential Suite or Royal Suite – 164 sqm. (single occupancy): THB 222,500 net

Note: Prices are valid from 6th May – 31st August 2021. Additional charges are applicable for double occupancy or families who wish to stay together.

What’s included in the stay?
The ASQ package at Mövenpick BDMS Wellness Resort Bangkok is a full board package and features the following perks:
• Three meals per day in your chosen room type (choice of menu items).
• Three Covid-19 (SARS-COV-2 RT-PCR) tests.
• The transportation from Suvarnabhumi or Don Mueang Airport to the hotel.
• Private balcony with city or garden views.
• 20% off room service & special rates for laundry package.
• LED TV with 75 domestic & international channels.
• Wellness amenities in every room.
• Highspeed wifi & free access to PressReader application with over 7,000 newspapers & magazines.
• Complementary Health Watch Club Card with special vouchers and benefits.
• Exclusive health check-up discounts after check-out at BDMS Wellness Clinic.
Medical care provided by Bangkok Hospital includes:
• Daily health monitoring & twice daily temperature check with 24-hours nurse supervision
• Three Covid-19 (SARS-COV-2 RT-PCR) tests administered at the hotel.
• Supplements to boost the immune system (Cordyceps Mix C by Royal Life Anti-Aging Center, Mushroom Extract by Royal Life Anti-Aging Center)
• Complimentary preventative health telemedicine consultation.

Additional services to enhance your stay include fitness equipment rental, capsule coffee machine and microwave rental and online personal training sessions. We have partnered with Siam Paragon to offer the “ASQ Chat & Shop” experience via LINE or Wechat. External food delivery is also allowed (exceptions regarding certain foods applies).

Terms & conditions:
This Alternative State Quarantine (ASQ) hotel package is subject to government established regulations for the health observation for all arrivals to the Kingdom of Thailand, inclusive the seclusion in the room during the entire stay. All prices & information subject to change without prior notice.

Contact us for more information:
Email: [email protected]
Website: https://www.movenpickbdmsbangkok.com/asq-hotel-bangkok/
Tel.: +66 (0)2 666 3333

Address:
2 Wireless Road, Lumpini, Patumwan, 10330 Bangkok, Thailand https://www.google.com/maps/embed?pb=!1m18!1m12!1m3!1d3875.518155149349!2d100.54504231476417!3d13.74759699035021!2m3!1f0!2f0!3f0!3m2!1i1024!2i768!4f13.1!3m3!1m2!1s0x30e29fd76dfff447%3A0x34783106c19355b2!2sM%C3%B6venpick%20BDMS%20Wellness%20Resort%20Bangkok!5e0!3m2!1sen!2sth!4v1620271909842!5m2!1sen!2sth

The post ASQ Packages – Stay in a Garden Oasis at Mövenpick BDMS Wellness Resort Bangkok appeared first on Inspire Bangkok e-Magazine Events.

But there was not much time to dwell on the hordes of well-wishing fans.

An SMS sent on Saturday night informed me that my presence was required at the Bang Sue Grand Central station for a date with a needle and Astra Zeneca.

The candle wax was barely congealed on the cut-price birthday cake from the only stall open in Ratchayothin before I kicked up the stand on the 250cc Honda and headed for my destiny in Chatuchak, a mere 3 kms away.

There was a scene I have become accustomed to in yonks in Thailand – haphazard confusion. But there were plenty of people with labels on their chests to ask.

First was a portly plod; Brits of my age were always advised to ask a friendly policeman the way in the days when they used to have a beat rather than just beat people. Before “The Sweeney” and Arthur Daley put us right.

Khun Plod said “pay thee noon” (over there).

The next person said “glap pay thee nan” – go back thattaway.

The third said they were both wrong and so was the SMS so it was then I found myself at the correct door proffering my passport, residency book and “tabian baan” (house registration) though only the first was deemed necessary.

Then came some form filling and a request for left or right. I thought that meant did I want to go left or right on entry to the cavernous new station. With me looking confused, the busy clerk said “khaen saay or khaen khwaa” (left or right arm).

I plumped for right as my left has been rendered useless after humping a log back from a mate’s place in Ayutthaya to decorate my balcony garden. I need at least one functioning finger to earn a translating crust at ASEAN NOW.

Once inside I found myself rather obtrusively at the front of one of several large columns reminiscent of school days marching. This was sure to end badly as I was not the only one with no idea of where to go – the “masters” with their megaphones weren’t sure either.

But as is usually the case in Thailand, we muddled through and got it done nevertheless. I decided against any banter with the staff – that seemed out of place and I’m a little past the “isn’t your Thai wonderful and can you eat spicy food” routine (even if I’ve hardly heard it for two years).

The guy who jabbed me did a great and painless job and after the 30 minute observation period was 25 minutes over I was stamped out and on the way back home via Villa and Lotus, getting some treats for “the good boy”.

I was less of a good boy at school. At Alleyn’s in Camberwell I’d heard the latest inoculation was to be delivered in the rear end by strong-armed and careless matron.

I hid in the rafters and waited until the coast was clear. I didn’t want any repetition of the occasion she grasped my dangly bits checking for something or other.

For a second trip to India in 1983 I decided on a typhoid jab. I had to leave my bar job at the Lazy Toad in Beckenham because my arm hurt so much and retire to bed at 8 pm. Sacrilege!

I vowed never to get vaccinated again and until last Sunday never did.

My raison d’etre for getting one is not fear of Covid. I’ve probably already had it anyway. I’m concerned about passing it on of course but principally being unable to do anything, unable to travel anywhere if I didn’t.

Readers might have noticed that Thailand has a tendency to be authoritarian and I could well believe that it’ll be impossible to have a normal life in the years to come without it. Never mind international travel if and when Scrabble tournaments start up again.

So I’m glad I did; the next dose of AZ is in October also at the same venue.

Bang Sue station was in the news several times on ASEAN NOW this week as huge crowds gathered early in the day fueled by the bumpkins arriving from far flung provinces like Nakhon Pathom and Samut Prakan….

One official said up to 30% of those at the station were from outside the land of the living and dying (Bangkok). Two celebrity commentators and journalists on TV went on Facebook to point at the confusion.

Next day after Prayut did some characteristic scrambling, some army pals arrived with pots of white paint to daub some lines and all was solved.

Hapless and increasingly discredited health minister Anutin Charnvirakul opened his ample bouche encore une fois and out came more nonsense. According to the DMP and ganja promoter the camera angle made it APPEAR there were crowds.

Shortly thereafter Anutin found himself named in a claim handed into the tech police by “Help Crime Victim Club” chief Atchariya Reuangrattanapong who said that the health minister had misled the public with vaccine statements made in June.

His claims made on June 8th, the day after the rollout started in shambolic earnestness, that there would be bountiful supplies of vaccine at all hospitals looked a tad “fake” when juxtaposed with the fact that more than a hundred hospitals had had to delay the rollout due to having nothing to jab.

Expats throughout Thailand were reporting on our forums how they had been unable to register or get vaccinated up-country – this prompted many to consider a hazardous but not unreasonable trip to Bangkok.

The attempt to prosecute Anutin came on the day Prayut’s attempted – via the Government Gazette – to stop “fake news” once and for all.

It should be seen for what it is – an attempt by the government to stifle legitimate news. Sure the news may be unpalatable and may scare the public – for many this is a scary situation.

Essentially it’s a gag not on people sharing nonsensical stories about fake remedies, but on online news outlets and high profile figures like celebrities who are calling out the government.

The wording and references to the emergency decree of 2005 leave plenty of scope for lovely long jail terms for people the government does not like.

Us.

In a flurry of such “fake news” stories on Friday – that included the Anutin one – came a police denial about a man who fell down in my area supposedly with Covid.

He was just drunk. This is all smoke and mirrors to make it look like the other cases of people with the dreaded lurgy falling down dead on the sidewalks were also untrue – they weren’t.

They were an embarrassment for Prayut and co and reached international outlets.

We are left to ask two salient questions. Who exactly are scared the most – the government or the people?

As well as the other rather large elephant in the room – who has been responsible for the most fake news?

I’ll leave that dangling as I value my liberty.

Two embassies also featured heavily in the news. A consortium of doctors presented a letter at the US embassy gates asking the Charge d’Affaires Michael Heath to pressure the government to be transparent over the Pfizer donation amid claims that the arms it has gone into were not doctors’ but people with expensive Rolexes.

Later Prayut dismissed any vaccine shenanigans and, desperately trying to keep a straight face, said he was concerned about people dying at home. He repeated his mantra about people working together and not dissing him or his wonderful colleagues.

The US embassy rep took the letter and though it probably wasn’t put straight in the bin it’ll be filed under “R” – whether that is rubbish, recycle, regime or reference is anyone’s guess. Don’t hold your breath that the US authorities care where their vax goes.

They, like the British embassy, care more for the photo opportunity to make it look as though all the governments and peoples of the globe are in friendly harmony. That is to say….let’s not rock the mutual trade boat.

Mark Gooding, the acting ambassador in Ploenchit, not to be outdone by Mr Heath’s Thai language vaccine announcement, similarly got his Thai tones wrong burbling on about the UK government’s largesse to the world and Thailand in particular.

No stipulations were mentioned in Mr Gooding’s 415K dose announcement – maybe him or his staff didn’t know the Thai word for ‘stipulation’ or maybe they just don’t give a monkeys.

Reaction from Brits on ASEAN NOW was understandably derisory and swift.

Though Rooster believes there are some expats who whinge just because they have nothing better to do and who could get jabbed if they persevered or spoke some Thai, I also accept that many are caught up-country between a rock and a hard place and deserve much greater assistance from their embassies than this public show.

The Thai authorities also need to dig up some of that vital commodity – the truth.

In tourism-cum-Covid news the Phuket Sandbox was put on a two week

“watch” as cases there hit 1,000.

A cluster was reported in Chaweng in Samui after a Thai yoga teacher spilled the beans about going to a birthday party at a club on the beach.

Hundreds had to be traced as the district chief struggled to maintain composure with the Samui Plus Model at stake.

Then on Friday Komchadluek – never one to be first with the news – quoted tourism minister Pipat as insisting tourism revenue this year will be 850 billion including 300 billion from the three to four million foreigners who will visit in the fourth quarter.

Bless, double bless and triple bless.

TAT supremo Yutthasak – noting the death all around him – opted for mantras that the Thai press love to leave untranslated because they haven’t a clue what it all means – “Stay Focus(sic)” and “Positive Thinking” were the best he could do as he surveyed the smoldering embers of what was once the Thai tourism industry.

The figures whizzed on and past daily 15,000 infections and deaths headed for 200. The only way seemed up.

How much worse it will get is anyone’s guess. And guessing was what Prayut was up to plucking various numbers out of the ether for the weeks when the vaccines would arrive and when everyone could start to get back to normal again.

He might be advised to just change those ‘weeks’ for months or even years…..

Early in the week Pheu Thai MP for Nan, Cholnan Srikaew had given ASEAN NOW plenty of rope to hang the PM with his assessment that he had lost all credibility and faith with the people.

It’s doubtful if Mrs Chan-ocha had to wash any brown out of her hubby’s khaki knickers – he seems determined to continue in power for the next couple of years.

The worst of the pandemic may well be over by then but such have been the dire economic impact and personal tragedies that few will be prepared to offer the tried and tested Thai way of “forgive and forget”; no one is going to put this one aside.

Many are predicting criminal prosecution in the future and already key supporters of the government are distancing themselves. Politicians need higher powered allies and some are starting to jump ship.

A story that epitomized the week was one that featured an 80 year old man crawling to the road from the monks’ quarters at a north-east temple.

His daughter dismissed claims she had dumped him on the Luang Phra while the local authority attempted to get some shine with promises to the family.

Fake news or not, such stories helped to engrain the narrative that the situation in Thailand was spiralling out of control – to the point that people were falling down like flies in the street and – horror of horror – being deserted by their families.

Finally, one of our news pictures caused some merriment after an advertising board outside Poseidon soapy massage parlor in Ratchadapisek, Bangkok, advertised “take away”.

It was food not what Thai men mean when they say “Gai Saam Yang” – three style chicken.

It also emerged that the Daily Mail in England reported that the Poseidon “the biggest of its kind in the world” was being converted into a three star hotel after Covid devastated business. The rag suggested new customers would not be told about the building’s provenance, as if anyone doesn’t know.

Years ago a cheeky 14 year old boy in my class was completing a Thai Studies “A-Z of Thailand” project – A for Ayutthaya, E for Elephant, that sort of cutesy stuff.

“Khun Rooster? Can I do P for Poseidon?” he smirked.

“Now why would I allow you to do that?,” I asked, resisting the temptation to say P for Prostitution might be acceptable.

“All my friends know about it,” he explained. “And my dad would like to invite you for a visit.

“He owns it”.

I never did go, I promise.

Rooster

The post The week that was in Thailand news: Just who is responsible for the most Fake News? Us or them? appeared first on Inspire Bangkok e-Magazine Events.

The prices:
• Superior Room – 42 sqm. (single occupancy): THB 66,500 net
• Deluxe Room – 42 sqm. (single occupancy): THB 72,500 net
• Executive Suite – 74 sqm. (single occupancy): THB 81,500 net
• Wellness Suite – 74 sqm. (single occupancy): THB 90,500 net
• Wellness Sleep Suite- 74 sqm. (single occupancy): THB 97,500 net
• Presidential Suite or Royal Suite – 164 sqm. (single occupancy): THB 222,500 net

Note: Prices are valid from 6th May – 31st August 2021. Additional charges are applicable for double occupancy or families who wish to stay together.

What’s included in the stay?
The ASQ package at Mövenpick BDMS Wellness Resort Bangkok is a full board package and features the following perks:
• Three meals per day in your chosen room type (choice of menu items).
• Three Covid-19 (SARS-COV-2 RT-PCR) tests.
• The transportation from Suvarnabhumi or Don Mueang Airport to the hotel.
• Private balcony with city or garden views.
• 20% off room service & special rates for laundry package.
• LED TV with 75 domestic & international channels.
• Wellness amenities in every room.
• Highspeed wifi & free access to PressReader application with over 7,000 newspapers & magazines.
• Complementary Health Watch Club Card with special vouchers and benefits.
• Exclusive health check-up discounts after check-out at BDMS Wellness Clinic.
Medical care provided by Bangkok Hospital includes:
• Daily health monitoring & twice daily temperature check with 24-hours nurse supervision
• Three Covid-19 (SARS-COV-2 RT-PCR) tests administered at the hotel.
• Supplements to boost the immune system (Cordyceps Mix C by Royal Life Anti-Aging Center, Mushroom Extract by Royal Life Anti-Aging Center)
• Complimentary preventative health telemedicine consultation.

Additional services to enhance your stay include fitness equipment rental, capsule coffee machine and microwave rental and online personal training sessions. We have partnered with Siam Paragon to offer the “ASQ Chat & Shop” experience via LINE or Wechat. External food delivery is also allowed (exceptions regarding certain foods applies).

Terms & conditions:
This Alternative State Quarantine (ASQ) hotel package is subject to government established regulations for the health observation for all arrivals to the Kingdom of Thailand, inclusive the seclusion in the room during the entire stay. All prices & information subject to change without prior notice.

Contact us for more information:
Email: [email protected]
Website: https://www.movenpickbdmsbangkok.com/asq-hotel-bangkok/
Tel.: +66 (0)2 666 3333

Address:
2 Wireless Road, Lumpini, Patumwan, 10330 Bangkok, Thailand https://www.google.com/maps/embed?pb=!1m18!1m12!1m3!1d3875.518155149349!2d100.54504231476417!3d13.74759699035021!2m3!1f0!2f0!3f0!3m2!1i1024!2i768!4f13.1!3m3!1m2!1s0x30e29fd76dfff447%3A0x34783106c19355b2!2sM%C3%B6venpick%20BDMS%20Wellness%20Resort%20Bangkok!5e0!3m2!1sen!2sth!4v1620271909842!5m2!1sen!2sth

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Mrs R has been winding me up about getting a pass for the BTS and I have been countering that that is unnecessary and she is more than welcome to sit on my chopper.

I’ll be celebrating by taking my daughters – aged five and eight – on a hair-raising bike ride down to the park and back. If the cops stop me for being out I’ll explain in my best Thai that I’m off to get vaccinated at Bang Sue Central Station.

“With two little children at 140 km an hour, sir?”

“Yes, officer, the wife just left me and you know how hard it is to get childcare these days”.

I’ve never let Thai language get in the way of a good lie.

To mark the occasion – that in all likelihood will be spent in lockdown isolation – I’ve come up with some milestones since 1961.

So if you’re the sort that demands news and doesn’t appreciate a column with personal reflections, go straight to comments where you’ll find many like minded people to complain with.

For those of you who might be of a similar age who fancy a bit of nostalgia or younger ones who might like to learn something about an alternative Thai life, read on!

If you do, why not relate some of your own memories below.

I was born in the back bedroom of my parent’s house in Beckenham, Kent. My dad bought the four bedroom property for 30,000 quid around 1960 (after he died in 2004 we sold it for 417,000). I was the fifth of six kids.

My earliest memory was Listen with Mother on the radio and Andy Pandy on the black and white TV. We got color in 1977 to help take our minds off mum who had just died so tragically young from bowel cancer.

Childhood was very happy, characterized by lots of playing in the woods, bicycling and kicking footballs into my father’s roses. My first real strong memory is of England losing to Brazil in Mexico City then watching in horror as a 2-0 lead against the West Germans ended in a 2-3 quarter final defeat. The first of many disappointments.

There were two memorable days before I was 20. The first was leaving secondary school, a place I loathed. I didn’t bother to go in on the last day and missed the final assembly in which another boy put a CCF armoury thunderflash under the stage.

The other was when I was nineteen and someone I’d never met in Rue Saint Denis beckoned me over; but the less said about that the better.

Despite gardening and decorating jobs at 50p an hour through late childhood, I started my first real job as a cub reporter in Croydon the week after leaving school.

On my first day my new colleagues took me for a liquid lunch to the Purley Arms. The crusty hacks liked me because I wasn’t a graduate and only got an E in my business studies A-level.

Proving my manhood I sank four pints of Stella then promptly returned to the office and threw up my Ploughman’s Salad in the loos. Despite staggering back into the newsroom my female dragon of a boss who terrified me, sent me off to cover my first Golden Wedding.

Mr and Mrs Martin were lovely and told me that the recipe for a happy marriage was “none of that foreign food”.

My first air flight in 1980 was to Paris for the Prix de l’Arc de Triomphe with a party of stockbrokers organised by Coral the bookmakers. One guy bet 500 pounds that his suitcase would get to the carousel first.

This was the big leagues. Unfortunately I had no money left to put on my Arc selection Detroit due to that pesky minx in the St Denis shadows. C’est la vie.

In 1982 I quit my job and flew one-way to Delhi on Ariana with a stop in Kabul. Soviet military craft reminded us why Afghanistan was off limits at that time.

Highlights in India were being asked for our autographs at the final cricket test in Kanpur and sampling an aromatic black substance from Manali.

My first day in Thailand was in April 1982. I remember reading about the Falklands War at a beach hut on Chaweng then having a 50 baht mushroom omelette called “No Name” on the menu.

The rest of the day I can recall in the sharpest detail to this day despite it being a bit of a blur at the time.

I came and went to Thailand for the next few years before arriving with 4,000 Aussie dollars in 1985 and making my best ever investment.

I signed up and completed several months of the “Natural Approach”, learning Thai at AUA in Ratdamri Road. The American ajarn Mr Brown told us not to try to speak, just listen and soak it up.

I cheated at night with a very helpful Thai lady I met in the street in Soi Sribumphen. I asked “pai nai?” and she replied “pay gap khun”.

My first Thai job arrived immediately at Brit-Am academy English language school in Silom. It was the sweetest 2,000 baht for a week’s toil that I have ever earned.

I celebrated with a “baen” of Mekhong made tolerable with two or three Lipo’s that had prizes in the lids.

I taught myself to read and write Thai with a Linguaphone book and within six months could write a postcard.

My visas were renewed either by going to Padang Besar or the Thai embassy in Penang. I favored bus to Hat Yai, diesel taxi thereafter. Each trip came after getting tax clearance at Banglamphu.

In 1986 I had a close shave with Immigration. A disgruntled wife of an Australian at another language school had reported me for working illegally but a guy whose name was very close to my own was arrested and locked up in Suan Phlu detention instead. (He’s a member on ASEAN NOW and these days a Thai citizen).

He had no passport and was deported while muggins got off scot free. I took my friend’s teaching hours and set up home with an English dentist in a rundown but quaint wooden house over a bit of duckweed surfaced klong in Thong Lo.

When HIS disgruntled girlfriend threatened to plant heroin in the rafters we relocated to an Indian owned block in Soi 39. The rent was 2,750 baht a month but I was earning 35K.

My first health scare in Bangkok was an amoebic liver abscess that developed after some dodgy Hoi Thot (mussel omelette). The doctor at St Louis said it was lucky my “tap” hadn’t burst.

Following a romantic disappointment with a lady from Ranong in 1988 I had a brief sojourn in Copacabana returning for the Cup Final when Liverpool lost to Wimbledon.

On the same day I met my first Thai wife, twelve years my senior, at the Peppermint in Patpong. We married in 1990 principally as I’d tired of those three monthly visa runs. We tied the knot in Bang Rak (The District of Love) and had a reception for two in Superstar after a burger at McDonald’s.

Children followed in 1992 and 1994.

In 1989 I bought my first bike for 39,000 baht – a yellow Honda MTX 125cc that I sold the next year and bought a “made from old parts” Honda Rebel 250. Many “steeds” followed, including a Steed.

I bought my first car in 1997, a Toyota Soluna for 373,000 baht. A mate drove it out of the showroom as I had no idea about the pedals.

I got bike and car licenses on the same day in 1998 which meant that “conversations” with plod at roadside checkpoints became a little easier.

In 1994 I got a job as Thai teacher at Bangkok Patana School after moving to Soi Lasalle. My first ever work permit said I taught maths as for some strange reason Thai teaching seemed to be reserved for Thais.

When the education minister came visiting I made myself scarce. In 1998 a very plummy and influential man called Stuart Morris hired me for a new school called Harrow International. He kindly tripled my salary.

At the interview he only asked me about Scrabble. After buying a copy of the Official Scrabble Players’ Dictionary at Asia Books near Villa I rose to represent Thailand in international competition becoming world ranked 19th in 1996 and champion of Asia in 1998. I still play five or six practice games a day in 2021.

Harrow was a 15 year blast that ended in 2013 with a two year “retirement” before I started work at Thaivisa as a translator in 2016.

I never divorced but my marriage disintegrated and I got hitched according to Buddhist tradition with the current Mrs Rooster, 15 years my junior, in 2004 and have lived with her in Ratchayothin ever since. I waited until my first kids had grown up before having a second brood.

Apart from having a son who followed me in supporting Spurs and a daughter who got a master’s degree from Oxford, one of the happiest and proudest moments was during the devastating floods that hit Bangkok and surrounding areas in 2011.

With missus number two we went in search of missus number one in Pathum Thani. We rowed in and found her happy to see us on the top floor of her now island house, living with her dog.

I then took both wives for a row in ten feet deep water around the estate, actually called The Lagoon. They both complained about my appalling rowing skills.

That house was the first one I’d bought in 1999. It cost me all my savings and I was obliged to sign a paper saying it was now my wife’s and I had nothing to do with it!

Since then I bought four condos (in my own name) and flipped several others. I built a large house for my second wife’s family about ten years ago fulfilling a promise I made at my wedding.

I became a resident of Thailand in 2003 after collecting a mountain of paperwork and paying 20,000 baht (just in time as Mr Thaksin raised the prices thereafter).

I never bothered with citizenship as the right of abode was what I was after rather than having another nationality. Besides, I consider myself British and my Thai friends consider me Thai.

In conclusion, it’s been an interesting and varied life full of the ups and downs we all experience no matter where we live or who we are.

In preparation for writing this I asked a friend’s 13 year old daughter what was the biggest event of her young life explaining I was too young to remember JFK but mine was 9/11.

“Duh” she said with that scornful look like I was the oldest and most decrepit granddad she’d ever seen.

“Covid, of course”.

Sadly, she was absolutely right.

Nothing in our lives could have prepared us for this; in Thailand, especially Bangkok, in a truncated Week That Was due to my own ramblings, things got worse and worse.

Daily infections were up to nearly 15,000 at the time of writing with 100 plus deaths a day.

Foreigners over 75 were vaccinated at Bang Sue Grand Central Station and Rooster managed to register as a 60 year old for Astra Zeneca.

A BBC story – summed up by Rooster – slammed the government for its Covid-19 record.

Then Prayut said what a wonderful job he was doing on Facebook and managed to blame his compatriots in his inimitable fashion.

Labour minister Suchart then claimed that the Thai government was not discriminatory – always guaranteed to get a lather filled rise from the forum faithful.

Several people keeled over and died on the streets and sidewalks of the capital, at least two with the dreaded lurgy.

Much of the country was in lockdown and the Bangkok roads were quieter than Songkran except for the ubiquitous “Grabus Deliverus Motorcycus”, a noisy insect.

Some of the Phuket Sandbox tourists had to bus to Suwannaphum (my spelling) after domestic flights to deep red zones were cancelled for two weeks.

More restaurants closed in Pattaya and officials in Hua Hin doubted they’d be able to open to foreign tourists by October 1st.

The Buriram Moto GP was cancelled again.

Biggest stink was a Food Panda delivery guy who lost his job after mischief at the anti-government protests. Irate netizens called for a boycott and business rivals stepped into the void.

In crime news the callous Lopburi shooter, a school director, from February last year had his death sentence upheld while a hill tribe man who buried his building contractor boss under a Taling Chan house in concrete, was found wandering in his homeland of Doi Tung soon after.

They always return home, don’t they?

Finally, the pawnshop owners surprisingly said that business was dire.

They explained the reason.

Many Thais had nothing left to pawn.

Rooster

The post The week that was in Thailand news: Lockdown birthday! A trip down memory lane as Rooster gets his bus pass appeared first on Inspire Bangkok e-Magazine Events.

The prices:
• Superior Room – 42 sqm. (single occupancy): THB 66,500 net
• Deluxe Room – 42 sqm. (single occupancy): THB 72,500 net
• Executive Suite – 74 sqm. (single occupancy): THB 81,500 net
• Wellness Suite – 74 sqm. (single occupancy): THB 90,500 net
• Wellness Sleep Suite- 74 sqm. (single occupancy): THB 97,500 net
• Presidential Suite or Royal Suite – 164 sqm. (single occupancy): THB 222,500 net

Note: Prices are valid from 6th May – 31st August 2021. Additional charges are applicable for double occupancy or families who wish to stay together.

What’s included in the stay?
The ASQ package at Mövenpick BDMS Wellness Resort Bangkok is a full board package and features the following perks:
• Three meals per day in your chosen room type (choice of menu items).
• Three Covid-19 (SARS-COV-2 RT-PCR) tests.
• The transportation from Suvarnabhumi or Don Mueang Airport to the hotel.
• Private balcony with city or garden views.
• 20% off room service & special rates for laundry package.
• LED TV with 75 domestic & international channels.
• Wellness amenities in every room.
• Highspeed wifi & free access to PressReader application with over 7,000 newspapers & magazines.
• Complementary Health Watch Club Card with special vouchers and benefits.
• Exclusive health check-up discounts after check-out at BDMS Wellness Clinic.
Medical care provided by Bangkok Hospital includes:
• Daily health monitoring & twice daily temperature check with 24-hours nurse supervision
• Three Covid-19 (SARS-COV-2 RT-PCR) tests administered at the hotel.
• Supplements to boost the immune system (Cordyceps Mix C by Royal Life Anti-Aging Center, Mushroom Extract by Royal Life Anti-Aging Center)
• Complimentary preventative health telemedicine consultation.

Additional services to enhance your stay include fitness equipment rental, capsule coffee machine and microwave rental and online personal training sessions. We have partnered with Siam Paragon to offer the “ASQ Chat & Shop” experience via LINE or Wechat. External food delivery is also allowed (exceptions regarding certain foods applies).

Terms & conditions:
This Alternative State Quarantine (ASQ) hotel package is subject to government established regulations for the health observation for all arrivals to the Kingdom of Thailand, inclusive the seclusion in the room during the entire stay. All prices & information subject to change without prior notice.

Contact us for more information:
Email: [email protected]
Website: https://www.movenpickbdmsbangkok.com/asq-hotel-bangkok/
Tel.: +66 (0)2 666 3333

Address:
2 Wireless Road, Lumpini, Patumwan, 10330 Bangkok, Thailand https://www.google.com/maps/embed?pb=!1m18!1m12!1m3!1d3875.518155149349!2d100.54504231476417!3d13.74759699035021!2m3!1f0!2f0!3f0!3m2!1i1024!2i768!4f13.1!3m3!1m2!1s0x30e29fd76dfff447%3A0x34783106c19355b2!2sM%C3%B6venpick%20BDMS%20Wellness%20Resort%20Bangkok!5e0!3m2!1sen!2sth!4v1620271909842!5m2!1sen!2sth

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They love to regale anyone who pretends to listen about their knowledge of everything Thai from the language to the politics, the daily life to the police. They know all about the Thai people – especially relationships – and they have the culture off pat. They usually condemn it to hide their ignorance.

They once propped up bars talking about life being cheap and brown envelopes, but are increasingly prevalent and tiresome on social media these days.

Yes, things have become very black and white for them. When in reality understanding Thailand is more about the shades of grey. Even the locals are baffled by what goes on in the kingdom at times.

Rooster assesses a newbie as someone who has been in Thailand less than ten years – you get your wings after that. I got mine in the mid 1990s and I’m still learning.

I should be what legendary columnist Bernard Trink called an “Old Hand” by about 2035 if I keep paying attention.

The newbie overreacts to everything. A coup means violence and gunfire on the streets. Being caught with your trousers down means the end of a relationship and food for ducks. Falling foul of the law means incarceration in their favorite Bangkok Hilton, though they have no idea where it is because they can’t even give directions to a taxi driver (who are all dishonest Thai men who pimp their wives and beat them senseless, BTW….).

Ex-newbies who have paid attention are then on probation for about the next ten years. In this period it is important to get further experience and balance. By the end of that – lets say 20 years residence – we should have a person who is blessed with information and knowledge – but who is still “ngong” (suitably flummoxed) in appropriate measure.

You see, not being a newbie is not about always getting things right. It’s about appreciating that despite the knowledge you could still be wrong.

For this columnist the entire Covid-19 pandemic and the reaction to it by the Thai authorities has been a case in point.

I smelled several rodents last year but was prepared to go along with what appeared to be a pretty reasonable response to the pandemic. I was prepared to give credit where it appeared to be due and reserve some criticism for the ever changing circumstances of a health crisis few were fully prepared to handle.

I admit I didn’t see the vaccine rollout failure coming but I’m not going to get my “ganggeng nai” in a twist.

As far as being vaxxed goes I’m following a wait and see approach. Getting all het up about the lack of availability – or thinking about flying abroad to get a jab no less – all smacks of newbie-ism or having more money and time than sense.

I’ve got a doctor’s appointment in August for a lipid check and I’ll ask my Khun Mor about it then. I’m in no hurry – despite being 60 next Sunday it’s hard to catch Covid when the nearest you get to going out is a trip to the landing to take out the trash.

Mrs Rooster – a Thai of 44 years – is behaving more like a newbie. Maybe she needs more powerful medication and less Amarin TV. I’m doing my best to alleviate the fear factor – a tough battle with cases nudging 10,000 and deaths up near 100 every day.

I urge her to appreciate the positives – time spent with family, the pleasures and humor of raising kids in a rich bilingual environment, the eight year old mastering lessons via Zoom, the five year old coloring in nicely……

But it does appear that she has got caught up in the hysteria that this week resembled more like Vaccine Hysteria than broader pandemic angst.

Thais were queuing overnight for non-existent Moderna in Pak Chong and willing to pay 3,300 baht for it. Officials of every color were chopping and changing their Sinovac, Astra Zeneca and Pfizer combination advice at the drop of a hat.

An Australian couple who have clearly got their wings after 14 years, were polite and measured in a TV interview about the problems being faced by foreigners in getting access to vaccine.

They were caught between a rock and a hard place with Australian regulations ramping up but they are only in their 50s so it was hardly last chance saloon.

Interestingly, just days after this, the Australians announced a plan to vaccinate their nationals in Thailand.

Britain’s new ambassador Mark Gooding appeared on video in which he claimed his embassy was pressing the Thais at all levels to get their vax act together.

He expressed concern for his nationals’ problems; might I suggest he follows the lead of other nations and has a word with Whitehall.

Anything short of that makes you look like a lackey with no teeth to go with your lack of hair, Your Excellency.

Meanwhile, the Phuket Sandbox continued with the Thai authorities continuing to talk it up. Relief came slightly when Koh Samui’s “Plus Model” started Thursday.

Tourism minister Pipat and his entourage looked a tad lonely as a dozen or so journalists got off the plane.

Apparently 33 more had booked seats on Bangkok Airways before the end of the month and they’d be spending gazillions in two shakes of a TAT tail (or tale more like).

Pattaya’s tourism leaders then said they were pressing on with “Pattaya Move On”. Only four swab tests, a week in an ALQ, another week in a SHA+ and 14 days in Bang Lamung and Sattahip then you might be able to go somewhere really decent like Bangkok….

And it IS quite decent at the moment. Not much traffic, clear air, quiet like Songkran. Pick your time to go shopping wisely and it’s great in the Thai capital. And gone are the days when a curfew means much.

I’m lucky if the missus gives me a visa to go out to “Sewen”.

The word from all of Pattaya, Phuket and Samui is that the Thais are not expecting many foreign tourists until about November.

Maybe even then their forecasts are overly optimistic but you have to start somewhere to repair an industry that is 20% of GDP and employs millions.

Take the pronouncements about big numbers and even larger revenue with a pinch of salt.

Thais often speak with forked tongue as their culture requires them to keep up appearances at all costs.

Newbies call it lying, only later discovering face and only later still realising there as many faces as Thotsakan of Ramakien fame.

An interesting post about an online organisation led to my favorite comment from the forum faithful this week and will be my last word on Euro 2020 (tears still dropping into humble pie).

It was suggested online that people should hang out flags made of t-shirts outside their homes – white meant “we need food” and red meant “get us a doctor or a bed”.

ASEAN Now poster “jojothai” had Rooster chuckling with: “What if it’s a red and white flag? I have some of those to discard after last Sunday”.

I half expected Pattayan’s to be putting out flags made from their Singha singlets – “We need beer”, being the message.

Keeping up a similar brand of humor was a space cadet official talking about the draft “Space Affairs Act” and bigging up Thailand’s interstellar ambitions.

Talk about poor timing; juxtaposed against a horrendous picture of hundreds waiting for food handouts on Pattaya beach and social media posts about people with no bed waiting on the floor by a hospital’s trash area, this was misplaced priorities.

A bit like Richard Branson and his billionaire buddies rocketing off to the stratosphere. How about parting with a slice of your pandemic profits instead?

Incidentally, I worked with a deputy head in Bangkok who taught geography to the Virgin founder at Stowe. He gave him a “D” and a concerned “could do better” comment.

At least he was able to find outer space on a map, I suppose, and now didn’t need a rocket.

Some better news for those that rely on the baht being weak came when the UK pound surged past 45! Bless…it was double that for a brief period in 1997.

How I remember all the newbie expats at Patana school in the middle of that year panicking when the rate went from 40 to 50 almost overnight. They had to send money back.

This prompted international schools to up their packages benefitting Rooster, who smiled and kept his gleeful council.

Two insurance companies announced they were ending Covid packages. Their assessors clearly bet on the wrong numbers and were bailing out.

Then Dr Yong got the hump after someone edited his Wiki page to say he was a Sinovac salesman. Yes, it may be defamation but you just end up looking daft, doc, when you rise to the bait.

Finally in pandemic news, the authorities started approving self-test kits and advising home isolation for people with no symptoms. About time – a lot of time and money was wasted on the insistence of hospital and field hospital care.

The authorities had plenty of time to see what had happened in the West and missed a trick. Now they are paying for that bigtime.

Plod had another busy week. One was kicked in the face by a disgruntled and clamped van driver in Ploenchit Road, the IB warned about impersonators (not themselves) while spokesmen said to watch out for handsome foreigners online and to get the best ransomware protection after attacks in the US.

More light-hearted was a story about someone bidding 101 million baht for a van plate from the DLT with the registration ฮฮ9999 that many Thais thought meant riches.

The bidder had added an extra zero by mistake and 10,100,000 was his intention. Not inconsiderable but not a record, said the DLT.

Rooster thought of entering the cherished number plate business back in the 1990s, one of several ideas based on successful models from the UK that, with adaptations, I thought might work in Thailand.

In the end I taught Thai to foreigners and rich Thai kids coming back from California. In relative penury, I made do with a bit of tape on the letters พอ on my cut price Soluna spelling out “Daddy’s” car (พ่อ=phor=pater).

Rooster is normally law abiding but the first wife baulked at this “thabian rot” tampering.. What joy to catch her years later when she had the clock turned back by a “chang” with a power drill.

In related road news the traffic bods in Bangkok announced they were changing Zebra Crossings to be red to make drivers stop. Good luck with that – if you stepped out with an Uzi and threatened an advancing motorist he’d probably speed up and mow you down before fleeing the scene and checking if he’d damaged his fender.

Finally spare a thought for two Thai men.

The first was twenty year old Pannathorn, unlucky in love, who had “Jep Phroh Rak, Sak Phroh Khaen” tattooed across his forehead.

“Hurt because of love, tattoo because of revenge” didn’t mean he harbored ill will against his “ex” – he just wanted to make a statement about unrequited love.

At least Joe the Khon Kaen tattooist spelled it correctly and got one million likes on TikTok.

The other was a hapless 38 year old who had to get help from his mum after somehow padlocking his private parts and experiencing ever greater swelling for a week.

Putting pandemic angst in perspective.

Rooster

The post The week that was in Thailand news: On newbies in Thailand and getting your Siamese wings! appeared first on Inspire Bangkok e-Magazine Events.

It was 2.17 am on Thursday morning in locked down Bangkok and what Rooster and many others had been waiting for for 55 years – an appearance in a major football final – went blank.

A transformer or something had exploded nearby plunging my condo into total darkness and robbing me of England vs Denmark.

Minutes later the overhead fan came on at half-cock, it was now a brownout as the Americans say. Hopeless for internet box and TV.

Major life crisis!

Turn on phone and follow text. Misery as Denmark score, and I feel totally helpless. Muted joy as an own goal puts us back in with a chance. Half time – now what to do?

I was beginning to panic, convinced the blackout would mean a Denmark victory. Quick think – Thailand usually comes through in a crisis in my experience. Then I remembered.

The neighboring estate at the end of the soi had an old boy security guard in a shack with an ancient TV.

He might just be awake and……

Throwing on clothes and remembering mask and bike keys I drove past our own building’s security guard at breakneck speed.

You could see him thinking: Where’s that loony going at this hour (now 3 am) surely Nana Plaza is shut?

Five hundred yards down the soi there was Loong – he’d never met me nor I him – but at least he was awake even if the TV was off. He didn’t seem freaked out by this masked raider arriving on a Honda 250 and screeching to a halt.

Time to practice my best Thai starting with a mild admonishment, Thai style.

“Loong krap, why the hell aren’t you watching the football!!

“I’m an Angrit guy. We’ve had a “fai dap” and I can’t watch the match….

“Oooo, khrap”, he replied grasping my predicament and admittingn he’d forgotten all about Euro 2020.

He insisted it was on Channel 36 despite me saying “chong song na khrap, chong song”. Going down through the channels was laborious and the second half must have started. I took charge of the remote and keyed in 002.

Joy – it was 47 minutes in and still 1-1.

Loong, 75 if he was a day, was chuckling uncontrollably at the turn his normally quiet night had taken. He offered the weird foreigner his comfy seat and a draft of Leo – both politely declined remembering “kreng jai”.

Besides, a plastic stool was bliss and I didn’t need beer – like millions of Brits, and Danes, worldwide our collective stress levels and adrenaline were through the roof.

What fun we had, Loong and I, until the icing on the cake after 4 am when England scored and we triumphed.

Cue Englishman dancing impromptu jig and Thai “yaam” almost swallowing his false teeth.

I “wai-ed” my new friend deeply and thanked him. Joked that I’d be back for the final if the electricity authorities didn’t get their act together and headed home.

Like Harry Kane and his recovery from the missed penalty, Rooster, with thanks to Beautiful Thailand and its Beautiful People, had found a way to watch the Beautiful Game.

Like those who remember where they were when Kennedy was shot, I’ll always remember where I was when England beat Denmark 2-1 after extra time.

Sleep only followed after completing my ten daily translations by 9am. My English editor had been awake most of the night,too, so the ASEAN Now faithful got some early stories from Rooster for a change!

The football aside, it was a pretty grim week as the Covid numbers and deaths spiked daily.

One official said that daily infections would hit 10,000 by the end of the year. Maybe something was lost in translation; surely he meant end of the month, even end of the week.

And so it transpired. By Friday cases reached 9,276 with 72 deaths and that’s only what the government is admitting to.

Others started coining a new phrase “fourth wave”. Surely it was only a matter of time before the nation became the hub of waves.

PM Prayut – a loong who, frankly, I’d rather not meet in the dead of night – had a mixed week.

Very bad and extremely bad with a touch of utterly atrocious.

Firstly, he had to go into a 14 day quarantine at the army base where he lives. He’s no longer a general but probably feels comforted at being close to the Mess.

He’d been in close quarters with Veerasak from the Surin Chamber of Commerce while on the Phuket Sandbox junket on July 1st. Veerasak had Covid.

On Monday a Suan Dusit poll suggested 66% of Prayut’s compatriots thought he was doing a terrible job while a Super Poll suggested he should take a pay cut.

This prompted Big Too – a word meaning to grab something by force incidentally – to announce he would not take his salary and allowance for the next three months to fight the good fight – 376,000 baht.

More than a dozen of his fawning cronies followed suit including Thamanat Prompow still trying to repair the damage of, to him, being wrongly accused of heroin smuggling by those nasty Australians.

Sanook didn’t let Prayut’s modest display of largesse go unnoticed saying that the National Anti-Corruption Commission were unable to reveal the extent of his assets as there was no provision in the law to do so.

That’s Handy Harry.

All they would say is that he had had 102 million baht before he became PM 6 years and 9 months ago and had earned 10.4 million since.

Somehow I think it unlikely that he’d have just 112 million (plus interest) now.

That likelihood was about as obvious as the National Economic and Social Development Board who pointed out that the rich have got richer and the poor poorer during the pandemic.

One thing I will say though is that those of us who have been lucky enough to keep our jobs – an increasingly rare species in Thailand – have plenty of disposable income but nothing to spend it on.

If and when the pandemic is over, there are plenty of people with money to burn, should they so wish. Clever investment in selected businesses – including tourism – could be big earners.

Apropos, the fallout from the start of the Sandbox continued apace. First off we were asked to believe that foreigners at a market were new to Phuket. They looked like expats having a bite to eat if you asked me.

Then came news that 2,244 visitors had made it in the first week and flights were continuing to arrive almost every few hours……

Two of these “tourists” turned out to be an 83 year old man with Alzheimer’s who got lost and probably thought he was in the Philippines and a guy who nipped off to see his wife at their Rawai rather than wait at the quarantine hotel for a night for his test result.

Many of these visitors are obviously people looking for a way back in without onerous quarantine at ASQ facilities. Though for Rooster, who has little love for the island, having to spend two weeks there would be torture enough.

Meanwhile the age-old problem of taxi rip-offs on Phuket reared its ugly head. An investigation of sorts went nowhere.

The authorities in Gulf side Samui tried to upstage their Andaman cousins by saying that 80% of taxis and other public transport on their island had joined an app plan to eliminate gouging of tourists ahead of their reopening next Thursday.

Vaccinations continued on the Surat islands including Koh Phangan where foreigners got jabbed with an 80% target now met.

In other vax news it was announced that the US was donating 1.5 million doses of Pfizer. There appeared to be a stipulation that 20% of the jabs should go to foreigners in Thailand though Charge d’Affaires Michael Heath made no mention of this.

He went on Facebook later in the week to make a speech in Thai about that “special relationship” between Uncle Sam and Uncle’s children.

It’s brave of any foreigner to speak in Thai but I suggest that Mr Heath needs a little work on his tones and a few consonant sounds.

I’m available, sir, at the specially discounted rate of 3,000 baht/hour, so long as you come to my place.

At the end of the week came some additional nails in our collective Covid coffins. Ten provinces including Bangkok were placed under additional restrictions,

a curfew with provisos installed, malls were ordered shut and the hoarders descended on Makro and Lotus.

None of this seemed to make much difference to us at Rooster Central. Our pool reopened – utter joy – and my eight year old enjoyed her Zoom lessons well prepared by the excellent Thai and expatriate staff at Attamit School – respectful joy.

Mrs Rooster stopped tearing her hair out concerning her daughter’s education and just removed lumps worrying about Covid….oh well.

Penultimately, I would like to wish all Italians the best of luck for the match tonight (2 am Thai time Monday morning) and ask that the England fans remain quiet for their national anthem and put their laser pointers away.

Finally, Rooster has always been a lover of good acronyms with many like SNAFU, FUBAR and JAFA being Scrabble word favorites. Google if you don’t know the meanings.

But I particularly enjoyed the highly appropriate one revealed this week for the Disaster Response Association of Thailand.

DRAT!

Hopefully Englishmen everywhere will not be saying that come 5 am tomorrow.

Rooster

The post The week that was in Thailand news: Thailand to the rescue again: security guard helps panicked Englishman in 3 am drama! appeared first on Inspire Bangkok e-Magazine Events.

Cue a rather hilarious thread that claimed the owners of the site were now in the pay of the Chinese Communist Party. Maybe posters had misread ASEAN as ASIA and didn’t know that ASEAN referred to ten countries in south east Asia.

Or didn’t believe the hopeful blurb that the site was moving into new markets, expanding horizons.

To read some of the comments it felt like members were grieving for a departed relative. It certainly smacked of “lurve”, so that was heartening for us at AN HQ.

I can assure you that Rooster is still here (stop groaning) and it’s business as usual so in the spirit of celebrating ASEAN I’ll be writing about how I came to Thailand rather by accident via some of our neighbors.

But first ASEAN. The original members of “The Association of Southeast Asia” sixty years ago this month were Thailand, the Philippines and the Federation of Malaya. ASEAN started in 1967 when Indonesia, the newly formed Malaysia and Singapore joined the fray. Brunei joined in 1984, Vietnam in 95, Laos and Myanmar in 97 then finally Cambodia confirmed membership in 1999 after a coup delayed things.

Weighty matters, but Rooster’s Asian connection began in a small railway compartment on the 8.11 am from Beckenham Junction to Victoria.

I was late for school and all alone so I thought I’d look under the seat as you often found magazines there. Peering up at me from something I’d never seen before called Penthouse, was an oriental looking lady in a state of undress.

Looking around furtively to make sure I hadn’t been observed, I secreted the glossy pages in my satchel next to the pens, ruler and sharpener then after a further perusal deposited it under my bed at home in case mother did a strip search.

It sowed a seed, as it were, in the mind of an impressionable 14 year old.

Six years later I had the opportunity to visit a friend of mine who was a steward (definitely not a bar steward) on the P&O liner The Canberra that was heading for port in Sydney.

I bought a ticket on Philippine Air and headed for Australia with a three day stopover in Manila. The Village Hotel had a casino where I deposited myself for most of the trip though I did have a ride on a jeepney and was hooked on Asia as a result.

People were talking about a man called Marcos and his wife who had zillions of shoes; it seemed terribly exciting and everyone seemed fascinated by me – that was a first in my life – not least of all that I had the same surname as a well-known US president.

After three weeks in Australia I returned to London not talking about shrimps on the barbie,hats with corks or billabongs but the amazing people of “Asia” that I had discovered. A bit like MacArthur I vowed to return.

But I never did, at least not to the Philippines.

I got sidetracked. I arrived in South East Asia in early 1982 on a reconditioned French ship that had set sail from Madras (that dates me) five days earlier.

Disembarking in Penang, little did I know that I would visit that gem of an island maybe 20 times in the coming decades, mostly on visa runs from a country I knew virtually nothing of to the north.

A Canadian in Goa on a rickety bus sharing an interesting cigarette with me had mentioned not to miss Thailand. I made a mental note of the name, though that lady in the railway carriage always seemed more Hong Kong than Bangkok to me…..(she was probably from Cleethorpes but who was I to know).

From Penang we traveled to Singapore in far greater comfort than we were used to in India. There we stayed with a friend on Orchard Road who said he had to always go to the back of the queue because he had long hair. He warned us about spitting gum and getting the cane.

It seemed like I was back at school.

Headmaster Lee Kuan Yu was in charge and it seemed like a police state and unpleasantly clean to boot; time to move on.

Back to Malaysia we travelled in diesel taxis from town to town. First stop was Tioman island where they filmed the musical South Pacific.

Idyllic but we were itching for more action than snorkeling and ogling the fisherman’s daughter in her headscarf.

Kuantan seemed dreadfully dull and closed at 8pm. You were woken at 5 am-ish by some dude wailing.

Ditto Kuala Trengganu, likewise Kota Bahru. Where oh where was the action……??

Crossing the border on foot to the station at Sungei Kolok and we started to have our answer.

To this day I remember everything about THAT day. The picture of the hippy that thankfully we didn’t resemble so we wouldn’t have S.H.I.T. (Suspected Hippy In Transit) stamped in our passports, strange people with no hair dressed in orange, nobody speaking English, everybody smiling and looking at us as though we’d got out of a spaceship.

I pity the tourists who come today, or who might come today. Back then it was discovery. No internet. No phones. We didn’t even have a copy of South East Asia on a Shoestring as that was cheating.

After the train to Surat Thani, Samui was unbelievably cheap and enjoyable. The only girl in the only bar in Chaweng – Lightning Bar – actually came over for a chat in bitty English. And when we arrived in Bangkok I only thought of one thing.

I was home.

Not only did I let down the memory of MacArthur and never return to the Philippines, I could hardly be called an ambassador for ASEAN in subsequent years.

I’ve never been to Myanmar, Laos or Cambodia. I have traveled extensively in Indonesia and been to more Scrabble tournaments in Malaysia and Singapore than I care to remember. But neither Brunei nor Vietnam…chern khrap, be my guest, if you fancy those.

Top of the news in Thailand this week was Phuket. I visited Patong on that first trip in ‘82. We stayed in a bungalow for 50 baht and the owner hated us “Cheap Charlies” because we ate tinned fish bought in the market for 5 baht and gave him 4 baht for plain rice. We dined in our room.

I never liked Phuket because of this guy after he tried to pad our check-out bill with “Lady 300 baht”. I pointed out that this was a private transaction already enacted that didn’t involve him or payment for the use of the premises.

I learned my first Thai swear word.

Thursday this week was the much heralded opening of the Sandbox and Prayut and his cronies descended on the island for the “Khun Mae” of all photo-ops.

It was an almost complete PR disaster. Not because of the numbers of tourists – that’s a sideshow to the main feast. How we dined on the PM and Anutin caught with their masks down, Pipat’s incoherent burbling about numbers, the environment minister clearing up 800 kilos of trash so that Uncle Too could hug a turtle on the now pristine beach and DES minister Chaiwut having to go into 14 day quarantine on the island after travelling down on a plane with someone with Covid.

Pure gold. And all accompanied by yet more assessments (printed today) from the Tourism Council about how tourism was saved so long as the Chinese are allowed out in October and Bangkok is virus free.

The chance of either is about as likely as Anutin doing a Matt Hancock after snogging a Covid infected sea turtle, having a meal in a restaurant in the Thai capital or a beer after 8pm in Pattaya!

The resort became the latest place where the Covid-ante was upped.

The numbers of dead and total cases broke records daily as many places were in lockdown in all but name.

Plod in Bangkok said they didn’t want to arrest people for inciting civil disobedience and pubs opening but it was their duty to try and get off Facebook and leave the sanctity of their booths and stations. At least after the sun goes down.

Flip-flopping continued to be the order of the day. The most hilarious followed the almighty debacle that was the late night announcement of the closure of construction camps.

Thousands got wind of that and fled the scene to the countryside with 34 provinces infected with virus by people from Bangkok. Songkran all over again, only much worse.

The hilarity was the cancellation of Tuesday July 27th as a public holiday. So what I hear you say.

Well taking this day off was designed to make the end of July holiday a whopping five days long to “stimulate the economy”.

After the embarrassing exodus to the villages the cabinet was forced to rescind this and tell everybody not to travel next month after all.

If you’d booked – hard cheese. The spokeswoman, left on her lonesome as Uncle hid, muttered something about asking for cooperation on refunds.

Still the flip-flops continued. (Australians call the footwear thongs which makes the Brits cackle). This was the cost of Moderna vax at private hospitals.

They’d said 3,800 baht for two doses, then changed it to 3,400. This was found to be price gouging by the hospitals due to a markup of over 50%. Eventually 3,300 was agreed.

Talk about what is in British thongs.

If you’ve already overpaid I expect they’ll give you a monogrammed mask when you get your first jab. Just hope your initials are AC or PC, while stocks last.

Rooster’s biggest laugh this week was when my sub-editor said it was a slow news day. Surely he was joshing.

The first story he sent for translation had “gay, Italian, fake Viagra, murder suicide and injured cop” in the first paragraph.

This was a story that happened in a house on the Petchkasem Highway.

Elsewhere a man in Chaiyaphum killed a family of four then himself because of a pump then a Brit started shooting at a luxury house in Pattaya that resulted in 50 cops descending.

There were just enough rozzers to ensure arrest, meaning we missed out on a manhunt for a pot-bellied, Singha singlet and grubby shorts wearing trigger happy guy with an Uzi.

Frankly, one would have thought that he’d have been happy after England dispatched the Germans at the Euros on Tuesday night. There again….he may have been Scottish or heaven forbid, even Welsh.

The progress of England brought much joy to my Ratchayothin Roost. The children were chained down to learn the lyrics of “Three Lions” and promised that if our heroes make the final next Sunday everyone gets new phones…..fancier ones if they win.

Finally, the change of name to ASEAN Now was also accompanied by a swanky new logo that looked very professional.

One poster on Facebook called Ryan Doran made me chuckle with his comment that I think was meant to be positive:

“Way better than that stupid durian”.

Oh I don’t know Ryan. I’m sure we’ll all get used to the new format and features of our go-to place for news.

But I think I may miss that durian.

Rooster

The post The week that was in Thailand news: Welcome to ASEAN! How Rooster stumbled into Thailand via the neighbors! appeared first on Inspire Bangkok e-Magazine Events.