My mother collected newspapers. Not just any old newspapers though
that was a habit of many of her frugal generation who saw such
deprivation during the Second World War. No, she collected mementos of
those famous days in her life as seen through newsprint and stored the
Express, the Evening News and suchlike in a battered old case in the
loft.

There was the death of Churchill, Queen Elizabeth’s coronation and the
simultaneous scaling of Everest for the first time. England’s only
victory in an international football tournament. What fun it was to
rummage through the history of a nation and the history of a life.

My mother died when I was still a relative child and as the fortieth
anniversary of her death came to my mind it was I who was looking
through my own maternally inspired collection garnered over 35 years
of life in Bangkok.

Funny how so many of my papers had tanks on their front pages.

Sure there is 9/11 and 7/7 – momentous days in many people’s lives –
but most of the Posts and Nations are stories of coups and violence
and political turmoil. There are some classic accidents like the
driverless train at Hualampong and the overturned gas Tanker in
Petchaburi Road. Joyous moments like gold medal success for Thai
boxers. And last year a death inspired me to save more than one local
newspaper.

But usually they feature those tanks and soldiers with guns – even if
for some of the coups little children were clambering over the
hardware or pretty girls were putting flowers in the rifles as smiling
and relaxed military men looked on.

One of the first coups I experienced does not have its own newspaper.
I was late down the shop in Soi Ngam Duplee and they had sold out.
“Never mind,” said the lady vendor. “They’ll be another one along next
week”.

It is now more than three years since his generalness took over, a
bloodless version that I must admit to welcoming at the time, so
lawless had Bangkok, in particular, become.

This week on Thaivisa it seemed as though there was a lull before the
storm as both the authorities and the public gear up for the momentous
moment of the decision in Yingluck’s trial over the rice pledging
scheme due Friday.

I sense that it will be worth keeping the newspaper for August 25 not
least of all because I knew her in a past life and taught her son some
of the rudiments of Thai culture. Rooster, like many, will be
fascinated as to what the nine law lords – that includes one woman –
decide.

Yes, the country seemed to be holding its collective breath this week
though as ever there were the usual talking points and humor that
makes following the Thai news such a varied and interesting
experience.

Apropos the decision next week, the army were conducting manoeuvers in
Lamphun saying it was all routine. Few Thais – more world weary and
savvy than many forum posters give them credit for – gave that
explanation much credence.

The pictures told the story just as the video did when another one of
the khaki crew decided to mete out some military might to a drug
suspect on Koh Larn. He was caught kicking and thrashing the druggy
with a stick.

Initially Pattaya station chief Apichai spoke round the issue using
language we might call “Tamruatese” but when the military hierarchy
realized there was no escaping the hounds of social media they jailed
the soldier for 15 days.

Interesting that the military have the power to jail while the police
just seem to have the power to prosecute when it suits……or when
someone complains on Facebook perhaps.

Increasingly we see incidents come to light that would have only seen
the underside of a carpet in another era and now with a new confirmed
initiative we are set to see even more filming in public.

I refer to the plan to pay members of the public 50% of fines accrued
for what the authorities call “public cleanliness and order
violations”. This includes dobbing in motorcyclists for using the
sidewalks.

Putting aside my upbringing that said there is nothing worse than a
grass, I can’t see this working in the long term.

In a system where corruption is a bedrock, most initiatives –
especially half-baked ones like this – are doomed to come crumbling
down before they are consigned to the bin of Thai history.

But the “thetsakit” – that I feel should be translated as “jobsworth”
or traffic warden – claimed that ten people had already been paid out
so maybe I should beware when I am taking the shortcut back from Tops
on my Honda 250.

Indeed, little happened this week to warrant inclusion in my newspaper
collection though naturally we were entertained with lead actor cum
met chief Sanit bounding to the fore.

The Thai press featured him in a file photo doing a three fingered
salute to make it clear to the readers what they thought of the plan
to go after the poster of the story who said that a Ploenjit building
under construction was the “Leaning Tower of Bangkok”.

Sanit would have gone down a storm in Pisa. Though I suspect like the
ever hungry missus he thought it was the “Leaning tower of Pizza”.

Rice gruel for defamation awaits the poster though the same is
unlikely to be the case for the man with the English name who ranted
against Air Asia for the treatment of his Kenyan relatives at Don
Meuang.

The “traveling while black” quote was delicious and reminded me of
Rowan Atkinson’s delightful satire in the UK’s Not The Nine O’Clock
News talking about police arrests of black people for the possession
of “thick lips” and “fuzzy hair” while “loitering with intent to use a
zebra crossing”.

The man’s open letter to CEO Tony Fernandes was met with predictable
tumbleweed proving that now “everyone can get a reply” – except you.

Meanwhile, Thailand was announced as the new hub of convenience this
week when it was announced that the country had opened its 10,000th
7/11.

Interesting to note that the two most common new words in the Thai
language in recent years are the alternative universe of “Face” and
the ubiquitous “Sewen”.

In visa news, it was finally announced this week that the “much
awaited” ten year stamps were now a reality though the response from
the forum was a few degrees shy of lukewarm.

It led to my favorite comment of the week from “MisterWhisper who
observed drily: “Much awaited – by whom?”

Indeed the visas seem to offer little real advantage to anyone and are
in reality two lots of five with a lot of inconvenience thrown in for
good measure. Rooster – who took the trouble to apply for and get
Permanent Residence before Yingluck’s brother multiplied the fees by
five – always follows the forum’s visa shenanigans with a side dish of
smug.

With the amount of tax I paid over the years I think I deserved it,
but to temper any feelings of superiority, the wife still owns the
house and I have to pay to leave…..

Biggest shock of the week had to be the horrific video of the 15 year
old reversing over a man and a woman upcountry. They survived but that
was hardly the point. The police really need to go after people who
let their children borrow or use their vehicles in this manner.

The same also holds true for the so called parent, and the operator,
who seemed to force a screaming toddler into a parasailing harness in
Phuket.

Regulation of these shysters please – by which I mean parents as much
as parasail operators.

And so to this week’s Rooster awards. My “Lifetime Achievement Award”
goes to the British for apparently dying in the kingdom in ever
increasing numbers. Frankly I thought the story, like me, is a bit out
of date but I am sure there are many nationalities who might even
welcome the news.

Rooster remains ensconced in the UK where next week I shall be
representing Thailand in the World Scrabble Championships in
Nottingham. I wonder if I can get the word “junta” on a triple word
score. I know it’s allowable.

This week in London I met a friend of a relative who said he was about
to go to Thailand for the first time. He said he was heading straight
to a place called Pattaya and asked me had I heard of it and if so
what was it like.

For once I was speechless though images of lambs and slaughterhouses
came to mind.

Finally, that leads me to the “Is it Really Better Late Than Never”
award that goes to all those responsible down at QUOTES (the Queen Of
The Eastern Seaboard) after it was announced that the latest wonder of
the modern world – the Pattaya Tunnel – will open its holes on August
25th.

Observant readers will note that this is the very same day and time
that Ms Shinawatr discovers her fate in court in Bangkok.

What a momentous day to keep a newspaper.

Rooster

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