When I first came to Thailand, everybody was skinny. Not just the Thais, but foreigners too. Getting fat wasn’t nearly as easy as it is today. Pizza Hut and Subway had come and failed miserably. Thais just didn’t warm up to bread and cheese. KFC was just starting to get some traction but cakes, pies and even ice cream were alien concepts. For Thai people, all those little neon-colored bites of “stuff” made from coconut and sugar and who knows what else called “kanom” were what Thais considered desserts. And, the portion size was small.

Pair that with the fact people did a lot more walking than they do now. No Skytrain. No MRT. No Uber. Even escalators were a rare sight. Living in Bangkok was a sweaty and tiresome endeavor. I lost 6 kilos the first month I lived here.

But have no fear … I’ve gained it all back and then some … thanks in no small part to Western dietary habits hitting Thailand like a big syrupy wave. Cakes, pies, cookies … even entire shops dedicated to the worship of cupcakes. Every major fast food vendor is has arrived and invaded all corners of Thailand. KFC fried chicken, Mc Donald’s big Macs, Burger King onion rings, Pizza Hut stuffed pizza, Carl’s Jr. triple-burgers, Subway foot long sandwiches, Starbucks Grande Ice Coffees, Dunkin Donuts by the dozen… all we are waiting for is Taco Bell. You know your country’s waistline is going to hell when you walk into a shopping mall and are greeted by the vulgar aroma of Krispy Kreme donuts.

But easily the biggest reason for Thailand’s “obesification” is ice cream. The sweet and creamy favorite was the thin-entering wedge that started it all. It seems so harmless … how could a little wholesome ice cream hurt you? To be sure, a simple single scoop of vanilla or chocolate or even decadent strawberry once a day would have little effect. But that’s not what we are talking about is it? We’re talking about 7-11s equipped with at least two deep freezes to please the midnight snacking masses. We’re talking about grocery stores that carry Ben-and-Jerry, Hagen Daas, New Zealand’s Finest and Bud’s. We’re talking about Baskin Robbins and their tantalizing 31 flavors. We’re talking about Swenson’s with those sinful sundaes. We’re talking about Dairy Queen and those damn Blizzards!

That’s the story this picture is telling. I walked into David’s Bakery in On Nut in the middle of a weekday and fell under the spell of this monstrosity. They call it a “Freak Shake”. Basically a tankard of thick and creamy malted milk shake topped off by a red velvet and a fudge brownie and a healthy helping of whipped cream to top it off. Since there were three other patrons having the same thing, I didn’t even feel guilty.

How do you get fat in Thailand? These days you don’t even have to try.

Orlando Barton