We are all painfully aware of the rhetoric of politicians and “the
authorities” in the west following bombing outrages. And the reaction
to what happened in Manchester this week was no different.

The public are exhorted to “never let them win”. The perpetrators are
“cowards”. Everything will be done to find those responsible who
always seem to have been known to the security services beforehand but
somehow slipped through the tight net.

Why do I get this feeling that they ARE winning and that the rhetoric
is just a smokescreen for the authorities’ ineffectual security
measures? And why do I feel that blowing yourself up is not really
cowardly….though misguided, it seems quite brave to me.

Meanwhile, the public – both online and in the UK itself – almost
follow their leaders’ rhetorical suit with “messages of solidarity”,
“calls for unity” and prayers at this “difficult time”.

The prayers didn’t work last time and isn’t it people who pray who are
getting us in this mess anyway?

Call that a “Rooster Rhetorical” question…

I was almost thankful to be far away from England and in Thailand
where the government rhetoric – albeit similarly formulaic – is
actually fundamentally different in nature.

Monday’s nail bomb in a military hospital – an event every bit as
despicable as Manchester despite no one dying on this occasion and few
outside Thailand caring about it – had the government denying that
they were behind it!

Somehow I cannot quite imagine Mrs May having to go down that route.

In recent weeks with other bombs we have even seen the habit of denial
with one police chief even remarking inexplicably that a bomb “was not
an explosive device”.

Again this would hardly wash with the British public but seems to wash
over the great majority of the great Thai unwashed.

Then came the jewel in the crown of public comments that highlights
the difference between a place like the UK and my beloved Siam –
“Election may be postponed” screamed the headline quoting our general
leader.

Bless! The UK politicians just decided to have a day or two off
campaigning before hurling insults at each other again while the whole
electoral process in Thailand could be off again due to some nutter
with nails and nitrate.

As legendary columnist and Thai observer Bernard Trink used to say –
“any comment would be superfluous!”

Though in the current climate where clicking on like might get you in
trouble, making no comment can probably be construed as illegal.

The rhetoric was also cranked up a predictable notch with the reaction
of Khun Kobkarn at tourism and sports. No sooner had the dust settled
at Phra Mongkhut Klao hospital than here was the elegant minister
saying that, thankfully, tourism would not be affected.

Many who remembered her recent pronouncements about promoting medical
tourism were tittering uncontrollably into their morning coffee.

Still, the week ended with both the Thais and the Brits in agreement –
Prayut said Friday echoing rumblings from England that the Thais would
need to give up many of their accepted freedoms to enjoy security.

While the final image in my mind is of soldiers on the streets of
Manchester – maybe Mrs May had taken a leaf out of Thailand’s book to
cover her party’s cuts in police spending.

Fortunately there were still laughs connected to much less serious
issues this week though the British were never far from the news.

Thaivisa published Foreign Office data that seemed to indicate that
Blighty tourists – or what is left of them – were behaving worse than
ever in the Kingdom with drugs and sex offences up. Though it was not
completely clear whether the Brits were doing or victims of the
latter.

Either way it made a good story with the three main factions on the
forum enjoying themselves. These three are Brits who hate the Britain
they left behind, Brits who hate Thailand they have left behind and
the rest of the world that just hates Brits.

I just think they are all bonkers and try and keep my beak clean while
still maintaining a sporting soft spot for the Premier League,
Wimbledon and The Derby.

As if to confirm the rather “oorf” behavior of its errant nationals
the story of drink driver and cop killer Anna Reese made for an
entertaining ruse. Anna – a poor actress if her sobs at Huay Kwang
nick are anything to go by – was at it again throwing a wobbly at a
pub then driving drunk into a car and fleeing the scene.

Despite killing a policeman in 2015 she was bailed, an eventuality
that was roundly condemned by a Thai anti drink driving group as
hardly a deterrent to non-actresses.

This time she really needs jail rather than being allowed a quick trip
to the nunnery and an “undisclosed” payment to the victim.

As this week’s Midweek Rant pointed out, the victims of people like Ms
Reese are really all of us.

We won’t see her cash but I’d like to see her ugly mug behind bars and
have a good old British snigger over my Earl Grey and M and S toasted
crumpets.

Not that I’m British – after such a week who in their right mind would
admit to that!

A variety of Thai “drama” stories filled the news pages this week. The
word drama from English is used in the Thai press stories and while
many forum posters want to see an end to Thaivisa’s obsession with
such tabloid- tittle-tattle, Rooster is not one of them.

I love the insights into Thai culture and daily life that they reveal
even though I have mostly seen it all before. All the offerings in the
last seven days revolved around Thai beauty stereotyping.

The week began and ended with the tale of the “suay” nurse in Isaan
who felt the need to quit tending to bed baths when her sexy images
appeared alongside a claim that she wouldn’t let a soldier get
anywhere near her.

I wasn’t entirely convinced that she wasn’t responsible for the furor
which seemed to be confirmed later in the week when the modeling
offers had started flooding in.

Another was followed by millions as a Thai bride bared her soul after
a wedding outfitters gave her the kind of make-up usually associated
with “Likae” (a kind of classical country soap) for her big day.

Facebook came to her salvation with a wave of sympathy and an eagerly
accepted offer of a “re-wedding” set of more professional make-up and
photos.

Not needing to use the internet to get her way was the other example
of Thai “stereotypicality” (my new word for the week).

This was the cute girlie wowing the lads after she took over her dad’s
car repair shop. (You might detect that Thailand is rubbing off on
Rooster – either that or he has spent too long reading the compiled
works of the Duke of Edinburgh).

Like the other teenager recently pictured in a Korat motorcycle shop,
“Khao Fang” who had a “small chassis” was quite happy up to her ears
in grease.

Such comments reminded me of a conversation I had with a Thai years
ago bemoaning local stereotypes. Yes, she said, you needed to buy
abroad to get a decent hi-fi.

Such “old school” behavior was something a retired teacher in
Ratchaburi was accused of this week. Though I prefer the words assault
or violence.

This relic of an ajarn was exonerated after beating a little girl blue
with a stick because she couldn’t keep up with her classmates’
reading.

Rather than excuse his behavior as the education department did can we
not bring back a bit of “old school” punishment along the lines of
tying him to a post and having the locals throw rotten Thai fruit at
him for a few weeks.

There is plenty in my local supermarket – which I won’t name – to choose from.

Meanwhile, motorcycles and their riders – so often a divisive topic on
Thaivisa – were also well to the fore in the Thai news this week.

An interesting story from Bangkok suggests that the BMA are actually
considering a scheme where members of the public can “dob-in” bikers
traversing the sidewalks of the capital to get a share of the fines.

It made me wonder if foreigners reporting the bikes would need a work permit.

The potential snitchers would have had a field day in Krung Thep this
week as the flooding was so severe that the footpaths were about all
that was left as pedestrians headed for the safety of the road with
its stationary traffic.

The governor held his hand up to say he was doing his best while the
rest of us just drowned.

The fact of the matter is the train projects that have already made
traffic intolerable in Bangkok now combined with the rains and
inadequate drains will mean sheer hell for months if not years to
come.

I think I shall just observe it all with my Schadenfreude brand
binoculars from the 12th floor of my condo and look forward to
venturing out again in about 2030.

Out in a boat, that is.

Better news for bikers of a certain ilk was the announcement that
Harley Davidson plan to start making their lawnmower sounding wares in
Thailand.

They could well have a word with their R and D department to come up
with some new models as “Low Rider” and “Fatboy” are unlikely to be of
much use in a steadily sinking and clogged Bangkok.

It reminded me of my favorite Thai song, the immortal “Made in
Thailand” by Carabao that was top of the charts when I first came here
in the 1980s.

I learnt its lyrics long before I could sing the National Anthem yet I
always felt that both songs gave an equal sized window into the
thinking of the locals.

Finally, my favorite story of the week was the one about the driver
who went online to appeal for help after a monk mistakenly used a
permanent marker to scribble some auspicious omens on the hood of his
pristine new, white Toyota Vios.

He’d tried everything to erase the markings including thinner. While
Thais online naturally suggested whitening cream.

Rooster had a good old surreptitious farang giggle thinking “som nam
naa” (serves you right), but you could hardly blame the guy.

In the matter of Thai roads we probably all need some Divine help.